When I was a child, staying in my pajamas all day long meant that I was sick. I hung out on the couch, watched TV all day and my mom brought me soup, ginger ale, jello and my medicine. (note: as an adult, I have a strong aversion to ginger ale and jello).
When I was in college, staying in my pajamas all day long meant that I was hungover from the night before. Or too lazy to get dressed because it was a rainy weekend ( ok, ok...sometimes classes were missed here and there...who on Earth could get to a friggin' math class at 8:15 on a Friday morning?!), and my roommate(s) and I were going to order pizza from Domino's (those geniuses accepted our meal cards as payment). We would hang out with whoever else was around the dorm and watch TV, eat, talk, gossip, laugh, and nap.
When I was out in the real world after college, staying in my pajamas all day meant I was sick. Or too lazy to leave my apartment. Or healing from a break-up. (cue the eating, napping and TV watching). But the space was all mine and I could use it as I see fit.
When John and I met, and later when we were married and childless, staying in my pajamas all day meant that we were spending the weekend together. We would sleep in, order in food, nap, watch TV, nap some more and just enjoy our down time together. The weekdays were always "go, go, go", so it was nice to stop and have a weekend 'stay-cation' every now and then.
Now that we have a child, staying in my pajamas all day means that I'm tired. I'm too busy taking care of someone else's every want and need that I don't have much time for myself. I am, however, proud to report that she is dressed every single day, no matter what. And when our little lady is dry, fed, and content, the other time I do have is spent washing bottles, cleaning (translation: moving piles of paper from one end of our dining room table to another), doing laundry, and, lately, trying to get a 9 pound person to eek out a smile for her mommy by acting like a moron. (it works from time to time, too!) Sometimes frosting from a can (goodness gracious...I do LOVE frosting!!!) is part of my lunch. I often go make-up free, bra free, and nap free. Most days, I don't get the chance to shower until John comes home, and then I change into a new (and, yes, clean) pair of pajamas.
But the truth is that I would not change any of it. I am so thrilled have my membership card to the mommy club that I would gladly spend the rest of my days like this. Sure, I would need to put on a bra from time to time, and need to replace the frosting with some protein, but to me all this means that the millions of wishes I made have finally come true. And that's better than frosting any day.
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
Wednesday, November 12, 2014
Selected, Not Expected
Let me take you back to the beginning.
When you meet your husband in your mid-30's, your biological clock is ticking so loudly that oftentimes you don't hear anything other than the moving of the hands on the clock.
That being said, I went all in when John and I were dating and let him know that, first and foremost, I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him. RIGHT behind that was, I want to have kids. Pronto.
Less than three months after our wedding, my 36 year old self decided that John and I needed to get a once-over from a pretty well known fertility group in our area. We checked out A-OK and were told "expect to be pregnant in the next few months."
Cue the crickets where the pitter-patter of little feet should have been. For three damn years.
I will spare you the details of the IVF, the money, the tears, the miscarriages and the dark, dark days that eventually let to the decision that would forever change our lives...adoption.
In the fall of 2013, I stuck my head out from my depression long enough to take a little getaway vacation with John. I knew I had been in really bad shape since our most recent miscarriage, but it wasn't until I listened to John reflect back on what he had observed of me that I realized that I had been in a much worse state that even I realized. After days of talking, eating ice cream, walking around our vacation spot holding hands, and laughing...yes...I was laughing again...John asked me a question that changed everything: did I want to have a biological child, or did I want to be a mom?
And there it was.
So simple was the answer to everything...we would adopt. Little did I know that less than a year later, we would be parents to the most perfect baby girl ever.
Two days after we brought our daughter home, we took her to the Pediatrician for a check-up. At the end of the visit, he took a piece of paper, wrote something down and handed it to me when he was done writing. He told me it was for our daughter.
It read:
You were not expected, you were selected.
But there's so much more to share about this kid that's now in my house...stay tuned.
When you meet your husband in your mid-30's, your biological clock is ticking so loudly that oftentimes you don't hear anything other than the moving of the hands on the clock.
That being said, I went all in when John and I were dating and let him know that, first and foremost, I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him. RIGHT behind that was, I want to have kids. Pronto.
Less than three months after our wedding, my 36 year old self decided that John and I needed to get a once-over from a pretty well known fertility group in our area. We checked out A-OK and were told "expect to be pregnant in the next few months."
Cue the crickets where the pitter-patter of little feet should have been. For three damn years.
I will spare you the details of the IVF, the money, the tears, the miscarriages and the dark, dark days that eventually let to the decision that would forever change our lives...adoption.
In the fall of 2013, I stuck my head out from my depression long enough to take a little getaway vacation with John. I knew I had been in really bad shape since our most recent miscarriage, but it wasn't until I listened to John reflect back on what he had observed of me that I realized that I had been in a much worse state that even I realized. After days of talking, eating ice cream, walking around our vacation spot holding hands, and laughing...yes...I was laughing again...John asked me a question that changed everything: did I want to have a biological child, or did I want to be a mom?
And there it was.
So simple was the answer to everything...we would adopt. Little did I know that less than a year later, we would be parents to the most perfect baby girl ever.
Two days after we brought our daughter home, we took her to the Pediatrician for a check-up. At the end of the visit, he took a piece of paper, wrote something down and handed it to me when he was done writing. He told me it was for our daughter.
It read:
You were not expected, you were selected.
But there's so much more to share about this kid that's now in my house...stay tuned.
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