Let me take you back to the beginning.
When you meet
your husband in your mid-30's, your biological clock is ticking so
loudly that oftentimes you don't hear anything other than the moving of
the hands on the clock.
That being said, I went all
in when John and I were dating and let him know that, first and
foremost, I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him.
RIGHT behind that was, I want to have kids. Pronto.
Less
than three months after our wedding, my 36 year old self decided that
John and I needed to get a once-over from a pretty well known fertility
group in our area. We checked out A-OK and were told "expect to be
pregnant in the next few months."
Cue the crickets where the pitter-patter of little feet should have been. For three damn years.
I
will spare you the details of the IVF, the money, the tears, the
miscarriages and the dark, dark days that eventually let to the decision
that would forever change our lives...adoption.
In
the fall of 2013, I stuck my head out from my depression long enough to
take a little getaway vacation with John. I knew I had been in really
bad shape since our most recent miscarriage, but it wasn't until I
listened to John reflect back on what he had observed of me that I
realized that I had been in a much worse state that even I realized.
After days of talking, eating ice cream, walking around our vacation
spot holding hands, and laughing...yes...I was laughing again...John
asked me a question that changed everything: did I want to have a
biological child, or did I want to be a mom?
And there it was.
So
simple was the answer to everything...we would adopt. Little did I
know that less than a year later, we would be parents to the most
perfect baby girl ever.
Two days after we brought our
daughter home, we took her to the Pediatrician for a check-up. At the
end of the visit, he took a piece of paper, wrote something down and
handed it to me when he was done writing. He told me it was for our
daughter.
It read:
You were not expected, you were selected.
But there's so much more to share about this kid that's now in my house...stay tuned.
