Lisa

Since the unexpected passing of someone I've known, admired and loved for 14 years, my mind has been swirling with thoughts, memories and such sadness.  My friend is all I can think about.  And right now, she's all I want to write about.

I so vividly remember when I met Lisa, her husband Todd and their (then) 1 and a half year old blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy, Davis.  The details are at the forefront of my mind, and I have been playing those recordings in my head over and over for almost 48 hours.  I remember looking up to Lisa pretty much instantly.  At first sight, she was stunning, had a handsome husband, a beautiful little boy, a lovely home, and an exciting career.  Upon further insight, that all remained to be true, but I learned she was also equally as stunning on the inside, too.  

Lisa and Todd hired me to be their son's full time nanny.  The arrangement was perfect for all involved.  I was going to school in the evening to get my Master's Degree, and Lisa was home from work in time for me to get to my classes.  Todd and Lisa had important jobs in Manhattan and they needed someone who could take care of their son on a daily basis who they could trust implicitly.  They lived in Connecticut, so it was especially imperative that I made excellent decisions for their child when I was his caregiver because they couldn't drop everything and run home for a scraped knee.  I'm proud to say I don't think I ever let Todd and Lisa down.

When I turned 30, they came to my surprise party.  Davis and I were the first hospital visitors when Lisa and Todd's second child, the equally wonderful and adorable Evan was born. When I moved from New York to Florida, they came to my going away-party.  They were invited to my wedding.  They rejoiced with us when we brought our daughter home. They knew my relatives and I knew theirs.  We were family.  

Now, Lisa is gone.  

I still can't believe it.

When I think about her, I think about how much she taught me, though I had no idea at the time how valuable those lessons would be.  Lisa and I would talk like long-time friends, never like employer and employee.  Lisa would often come home with a little decoration for my apartment or a gift certificate for a manicure...just because she wanted me to know that I was appreciated.   Lesson 1: value the people in your life.  Don't just tell them.  Show them, too.

Lisa's job as a news reporter was serious more than not.  She reported on often grim circumstances around the tri-state area.  Yet, at home, she had SUCH a great, sharp, clever sense of humor.  I even found myself repeating one of the funny things she said in recent weeks.  She had a demanding job with unusual hours, a home to maintain, and family to care for.  Yet she always smiled and laughed.  She never seemed to take anything too seriously...including herself.  Lesson 2: Have a sense of humor, dammit.  Even when you may not feel like it.

When Lisa was very pregnant with Evan, Todd and I conspired together to give them a weekend at home alone as a little "stay-cation baby moon".  We planned it for Valentine's Day weekend and I took Davis to my parent's house so they could be alone and so my parents could spend time with Davis, who they loved.  I remember Lisa telling me how surprised and grateful she was to sleep in, dine out, and just be able to have uninterrupted time with Todd on no schedule.  Though technically I learned this lesson from Todd, I will never forget how much that weekend meant to Lisa, and I am so glad I was able to be a small part of that.  Lesson 3: Take care of your partner.  Surprise them and spoil them, even if it's just with an unexpected, uninterrupted weekend in your own home.  

Now that I am a mom, this next one is the most important, and I feel safe in saying that it was Lisa's priority, too.  Lesson 4:  Raise your children well.  Be there for them.  Support their passions in life.  Show them that with hard work, you can really have it all, as Lisa herself did.  I have no one single anecdote to share here because I could write forever about the first-hand experiences I had watching Lisa as a mom.  She was spectacular.  And I know I am a better mom to my daughter, and a better person, for that matter, just for having known her.

So, Lisa, this is my tribute to you from my little corner of the world.  

Thank you for your humor, your wit, your kindness, opening your heart to me, entrusting me with your children and embracing me as a family member.  

They say no one is really gone until the last time someone says their name.  That being said, Lisa, you will live on forever in the hearts, minds, and words of all who loved you, including me.